Bonbonniére


When I woke up this morning, it was raining. Again. The skies outside were bullet grey, and filled with clouds, the light barely coming through. The night before I had separated an outfit to wear this morning: a faux leather pannel skirt, a black turtleneck, black tights. As soon as I saw the weather outside, I lost any will to wear that outfit. Rain and skirts do not combine where I am concerned, you know. So I found myself inside an old sweater I wear around the house to keep warm, an old pair of jeans and sensible boots, underneath a waterproof parka that makes me look like that Michelin doll. Hair a mess, barely any make up.


As I walked home back from the school run, the sky began to open and the sun came through. I could feel the temperature was not as low as it has been this past few weeks, and I wondered if my lack of disposition, this listlessness I have been trying to fighyt could be a case of the WInter blues. I usually go through them every year, but mainly by mid February, early March. If I picture myself yearly at the month of March I can see myself wearing the same pair of fade jeans, boots and the same old parka over sweaters meant to be worn at home. Sometimes there isn't even a hint of make up on my face, in early March! It's usually the month where the rain comes down harder - though last year it was the rainiest year I can remember, actually! but the Winter was a mild one temperature wise.


As I reached home and change my clothes for something comfier to be around the house, I put away the old pair of jeans and took out a pair of red trousers. The sun was shinning outside, I could hear birds sing, and I thought to myself I should make an effort, I should fight this sort of Winter blues. So a nice, vibrant outfit was called for. I considered doing exercise before sitting down here to write this post, and gave up. I have been feeling listless, yes, but also tired. Decided to leave the exercise for latter. As I sat down the sky clouded over and the rain started falling again. I felt like I could crawl into bed and stay there. 


I don't think I have been hit this hard by this thing we call Winter blues, before. I really felt a moment of despair as I watched the sky turn from a cloudless blue to a yellowish grey dripping with water. So how do we fight this? How does one fight the will to simply lay down, reading or watching shitty shows, eating bonbons by the dozen? How does one fight the feeling of tiredness, which is more of a mental state than an actual physical one, how does one fight that tendency to wear the drabbiest clothes because one just cannot be bothered anymore? This year I find myself craving Spring way earlier than I usually do, just so I can turn away from the cold, cold Winter we've been having, and the constant rain of these last couple of weeks


I have so much to do and no will whatsoever to do it. And most of it are projects I really want to tackle, as I know they will be so good for me, to help me improve and grow. But as soon as I start thinking I should be doing this, or that, I feel tired and sleepy and all I want to do is really sit down and watch True Detective or Downton Abbey or a horror movie that is as bad as only bad horror movies can be. I don't even want to write, or photograph, let alone edit pictures! And yet, I forced myself out of this cloud of numbness and managed to get some bonbons arranged in a pretty vignette. Chocolate may not always be the answer, but boy, it does help. I love pretty bonbons, delicate creations that are both romantic as they are delicate, and these filled the bill. As soon as I opened the box I knew I had to take pictures of them, they were so gorgeous. It's quite silly the things that catch my eye and make me want to display them in arrangements for a photographic vignette. Tea cups. Lingerie. Old bottles of perfume. Silver rings. Citrus. Bonbons.


Comments

  1. Sinto isso sempre a seguir ao Natal. A minha rotina é passar a semana em pijama cirúrgico, chegar a casa depois do trabalho, comer e ver os tais shitty shows. FYI, moro numa aldeia. I feel you sister...

    Sara Levy | Jungle Fever

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  2. a melancolia que nos atinge em dias de inverno.. às vezes também me arrasto pela casa assim, so much to do, so little will to do it. mas depois vêm uns raios de sol e lá saio da apatia!
    e ó mulher não me mostres esses bombons que ultimamente tenho pecado muito, tanto chocolate que nem é bom pensar!

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  3. e que bem que te entendo! ainda não fiz um dia de dieta desde o natal! estou a ver se entro para o ranking/ índice de obesiadade mórbida em Portugal! esa giríssimo este setting e uma verdadeira tentação!

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  4. O Inverno é mt isto. O querer estar na toca, quase hibernar. Eu há dias que preciso genuinamente de não sair à rua ^^ pelo bem do mundo!! ahahh

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    Replies
    1. I get u sista. pelo bem do mundo mesmooooo!! mas tenho de levar o puto á escola, por isso sou forçada a sair!

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