A birthday cake that is a chocolate bomb and a week to forget
Whenever I mention being grateful for the life I lead and the way I am able to lead it, something bad happens. Not something truly terrible, not something dreadful, life threatning, but something nasty, bad, unlucky, something worrisome enough to take away my sleep and my peace of mind.Whenever I proclaim publicly how happy and grateful I truly am, despite constantly sounding like a whining bitch, I get hit by a bout of small problems, that even though they do not kill you, they grind at you. And that can be extremely tiresome, and depressing. To the point you just want to give up on the whole of things, shut down the world, shut yourself out of the world, curl up and sleep.
I'm always mistified by those people who are constantly harping about how happy they are and how grateful they are and to whom so much good happens, all the time, and the more they state their gratitude and the more they recognize and acknowledge their happiness, the more good things get thrown their way, or so they claim. Because with me, it is always the contray. The more I publicly acknowledge my happiness, the more I publicly state my gratitude towards all the goodness I have in my life - and this is no small amount, believe you me! - the more bad stuff keeps happening, annoying little things, constant problems and worries and preoccupations. As if the fact that I state my happiness is offensive to the universe. As if the mere fact that I admit t being blessed, and grateful, and happy, is offensive to the universe. Or to someone, who then will wish bad things on me.
The fact is, I am a firm believer of other people's energies. The way they can direct negative energies your way. And I have always felt like I always happen to have someone in my life, be it virtually or phisically - remember I have a rotten finger choosing my friends!! - who is offended by my happiness, or my gratitude, or the fact that I am thouroughly content with my lot in life, despite the fact that I do want to progress, and grow, and better myself and my work. I always feel that if I vent out how truly happy I am, if I show the universe and the world at large how truly grateful for my lot in life I really am, someone will get offended by it and start wishing me some clouds to rain over my parade.
Just last month I spoke about how truly blessed I feel I am, how lucky I know I am to be able to live my life, with all I have in it. I mentioned my happiness, my gratitude, which I don't often do, because, well, as I said above, shit tends to happen whenever I do, and lo and behold! the moment I put it out there, to the universe, my acknowledgement of how lucky I am in the life I lead, how much I have been granted, how wonderful my life is... things start going wrong. Wrong to the point where I have been unable to photograph for this blog and update it with the regularity I like to keep up. There was a moment there when I said to myself I was just going to give up on this and let the blog die out. Stop blogging alltogether, then maybe life would go back to normal and to peacefulness. I actually thought about letting myself be defeated by these happenings.
And then I decided I refuse to be coward by this. I decided to turn something that is bad into something that is not so bad. And hope and pray and believe things will eventually go back to normal. So what if I cannot keep up with my two posts a week, for a while now? I'll do one post a week, if I can manage that, and if not, well, I'll post whenever I can. It's not as if I have deadlines or responsabilities attached to this blog that I must keep up with. So, with all the shit that happened last week, I chose to look at it with a different mindset, and regarded the unexpected - and unwanted - spend of money as something that in the long run will prove to have been for the best, and all the minor adjustments we had to do as something that will indeed end up being for the best, and even the fact that I lost my identity card I am seeing it as a benefit of sorts, because now I can go and have a new one made, one of those state of the art modern ID's that I still did not have!
Because in the mids of all hell breaking loose around me, there were these seemingly little things, seemingly unimportant things, that swelled my heart, that made it all better, that rendered me hopeful and put a smile and a thank you on my lips. Like this cake. I celebrated my forty third birthday just last Sunday, and even though it was such a small affair, only in the company of my husband and our son, with only family members calling to wish me a happy birthday, it was peaceful, and restful, and good. We had our fun, and the cake, though it might look wonky and not blogger material, was to die for. I mean, how could it not be to die for, when it was covered in thick, gooey, rich chocolate? If you care to try it out, this was a simple vanilla sponge, with simple chocolate ganache.
For the sponge you'll need:
As for the ganache, you need:
For the sponge you'll need:
- 150 gr flour, sifted
- 150 gr butter at room temperature
- 150 gr sugar (100 gr is enough, really, unless you want it sweet)
- 1 vanilla pod, seeds scraped
- 2 teaspoons baking powder
- 200 gr good quality dark chocolate
- a drizzle of coffee - espresso will be the best
- 250 ml heavy cream
- a small knob of butter